Today, I closed myself in the bathroom and I put my face in a towel and I cried!  I cried that gut wrenching, body-shaking, painful, ugly cry!  I cried for the all the pain Oliver has endured in has last three years of life. I cried for all the lost hours of sleep I have missed in the last three years. I cried over all the battles we have had to fight and I have never taken the time to shed a tear over!  I cried because I hear teeth grinding non-stop and it drives me crazy!  I cried because I had to explain to my eleven year old that Oliver will never be a police officer, a doctor, a pilot (Ethan cried after I explained this to him last week). And, most of all because of other kids!  All of this built up and I exploded!

Why?!?!?  Why is life so beautiful and so hard? God gave me Oliver and I love him so much. The battles we fight are tough. Today, we went to DSW. Standing in line behind us was a child that was about four or five. Oliver was so excited and couldn’t stop waving!  I was checking out and Ethan and Charlie were talking to Oliver and acknowledging the boy, but the boy just stared at Oliver!  This broke my heart!  Please say hi back to my son!  It made me angrier that the parents weren’t acknowledging the child’s behavior of ignoring Oliver.  I checked out and we walked to the car. I was in tears! Then I was angry!  I don’t even know if it phased Oliver. But, someday it will hurt him.

Again, my Ethan and Charlie walked out of the store taking away a valuable lesson. My humans are going to be amazing people!  They have to witness things they shouldn’t see, but at the same time I feel like God is going to use them to do amazing things.
Again, my Ethan and Charlie walked out of the store taking away a valuable lesson. My humans are going to be amazing people!  They have to witness things they shouldn’t see, but at the same time I feel like God is going to use them to do amazing things.

Friends, talk to your little ones!  Not everyone looks the same. Some have scars, tubes, wheelchairs, assistive devices to help them.  Please teach your children to be kind and courteous!  Talk to your children! Educate them!  Prepare them!  So instead of staring, they will say, “hi”!

Why did I title this “ Beauty From Pain”?  God created Oliver with an extra chromosome for a reason and Oliver is fearfully and wonderfully made!  That extra chromosome is what makes Oliver beautiful. It is what makes him Oliver!  If I took that chromosome away, we would take away all his pain and all the things he has to work hard for!  It would change him.  There is beauty in pain and beauty in hard work!  It changes us!  It makes us stronger!  Do I hate watching him suffer?  Absolutely!  Do I hate all the appointments?  Absolutely!  Can I afford all the appointments?  Nope!  Do I go to all the different therapies? Nope!  But, I love my son fiercely!  And, I want to change the world for him!