My Dearest Father,

I remember being a little girl and always wanting to sit on your lap or next to you in your chair. As I got older, I wanted to hang out with you in the mornings before both of us headed in for second shift- watching your shows and I would talk your ear off. Then I got married and had Ethan. You became sick right when I found out I was pregnant with Charlie. I am glad you wanted her named Charlie. We went with Charlotte, but calling her Charlie is fitting! I am thankful you were able to celebrate her first birthday with us. 

I am beyond thankful for the time we had together. The memories are forever embedded in my mind. My favorite memories are of us boating on Indian Lake. You wanting to fish and we wanted to swim. You would send out the line and would somehow hold the reel while putting your hat over your face and laying back for a nap. The oldies tape playing. Boat rocking from side to side gently while the sun was just rising. Those were my some of my favorite days with you. 

You would be 76 now! Sixteen long years have passed without you. You missed my pinning ceremony for nursing, and you missed when I officially received my nursing license. You always wanted me to be a nurse, but it took losing you before I realized that was what I was called to do. Caring for you at the end of your life was when God showed me my calling. I have saved lives and delivered babies. I comforted families that lost a loved one. I have mentored mothers of babies with Down syndrome.  I cared for all my patients while thinking about how I wanted you to be cared for by others. You have missed so much!  

You missed one of the hardest seasons of my life- when we found out about Oliver and the possibility of him having Down syndrome. You missed his scary birth, his open-heart surgery, and all the other surgeries he needed. You missed the complications from surgery, the hospitalizations for pneumonia and ketotic hypoglycemia, and the countless moments of fear and uncertainty. You missed me realizing how amazing Oliver’s extra chromosome makes him, and all the ways he brings us joy and laughter by simply being himself.

You missed your grandkids playing sports and graduating high school. You didn’t get to see your grandson wrestle in college! You missed seeing how amazing Ethan is and how much he reminds me of you- very stoic and hardworking! You missed Charlie becoming part of the National Honor Society!  She is smart! You would say “She must take after Charlie” (your dad). 

As time goes on, new memories are made without you, and that is hard! Sometimes it feels like we lost you yesterday and other times it feels like a lifetime ago! I hate that you were taken from us. For some reason I don’t quite understand, I keep dreaming about you. January is always the hardest month. I know this time on earth is temporary, but I hate that you and I were robbed of so many moments together.  

Still, my hope rests in seeing you again one day. I miss you every single day.  There is no one like you- a good ‘ol country boy that would do anything for anybody. At your funeral, many people shared stories of all the ways you had helped others: jump-starting cars in a blizzard, fixing flat tires, towing cars out of ditches with your pick-up. I want to be just like you- a true servant that does for others. Thank you for being an example of a true man. 

You will forever be missed and forever be loved.

Love,

Your Daughter- Kelly