Many of you might have heard about the couple who announced on social media that they were going to abort their four or five-month-old baby after learning the baby had Down syndrome. (I have read it was five-month-old, bu t Ridgway used four-month-old in video.) This is a conversation they had prior to receiving the test results. If the baby had Down syndrome, they planned to have an abortion.

Jesse Ridgway is considered an “influencer.” He has over 4 million followers. Based on the Merriam-Webster definition, an influencer is “one who exerts influence: a person who inspires or guides the actions of others.” This influencer then says he does not understand “a side of humanity that is deeply disturbing.” What I find deeply disturbing is sharing such a major life event publicly for the world to watch. What is deeply disturbing to me is that this baby lost its life, and Jesse himself referred to the baby as “a child.” How do you end the life of a child?

Jesse and his wife shared the results of an amniocentesis on social media. At the beginning of the video, they mention the baby being four months along. They later share that the test results showed Trisomy 21 (Down syndrome). The mother cried while thousands watched online. The father appeared upset, but not shaken in the same way. He mentioned Ashley being “more than halfway” through the pregnancy. She talked about purchasing baby clothes and a stroller. Then miscarriage was mentioned.

I have to be honest: I struggle with comparing miscarriage to a decision to end a pregnancy by choice. To me, those experiences are very different. One is a devastating, unexpected loss. The other is a decision made by the parents to end the life of the child.

Jesse later says they were “shocked, but optimistic,” adding, “If they’re a little slow intellectually, then we’ll make it work. I signed on to be a parent.” Hearing that was hard for me. Parenting does not come with guarantees. None of us get to choose exactly what challenges our children may face. Life can change unexpectedly for any family, and every child—whether typically developing or diagnosed with a disability—comes with joys, struggles, and unknowns.

Jesse then discussed medical conditions individuals with Down syndrome may be predisposed to, including cardiac defects, hearing loss, and developmental delays. He described Down syndrome as “not a blessing” and “objectively shitty from a health perspective.” Hearing those words as a mother of a child with Down syndrome hit me hard.

Yes, children with Down syndrome can face medical and developmental challenges. Some may need therapies, extra educational support, surgeries, hearing aids, glasses, or ongoing medical care. Those realities are not easy. But my experience has also shown me incredible joy, resilience, and love.

What affected me most was not only the decision itself, but also the way disability was discussed. Words matter. When we talk about being “normal,” we need to be careful. My son, Oliver, is normal. He loves playing ball, working out, playing with cars, video games with his big brother, watching YouTube in his sister’s room, swinging, and cuddling. He has preferences, routines, strengths, and challenges—just like any other child.

Raising a child with Down syndrome does require more time and effort in some ways. I can tell you, as a mom with one child with Down syndrome and two typically developing children, that parenting challenges exist with all children. Oliver may require more of my time, but we celebrate every achievement like it is a party. It is rewarding in ways I never expected.

There is also an unconditional love I experience through him. Oliver had to have a procedure to remove earwax. We had to hold him down due to the tool used by the doctor could injure the canal or the eardrum, and he cried because he did not understand what was happening and why he had to hold still. After it was over, the doctor asked for a high five. Instead, Oliver gave him a big hug. That is who he is.

I do not agree with death threats or cruelty toward anyone. I believe people deserve compassion, even in deep disagreement. As a Christian, I also grieve deeply when I think about this baby and the loss involved. My faith shapes how I view life, disability, and parenthood. I know others may see these situations differently, but I cannot separate my beliefs from how I process this.

I feel sadness for what the Ridgway family will never experience. I believe children with Down syndrome bring tremendous joy, love, and meaning to the lives around them. I hope people will be thoughtful in how they talk about disability, parenthood, and what makes a life valuable.

I know what it is like to face difficult decisions. I chose life, and I would choose it again every time. I have no regrets.

I also know that women—and men—can carry deep grief after the loss of a baby, whatever the circumstances. Many need emotional support, compassion, and healing. My prayer is that anyone walking through grief finds hope, support, and peace through Jesus. I believe Jesus meets people in their pain with open arms. There is no greater love, no deeper peace, and no greater healing than what is found in Him.